From Adversaries to Allies: The Guide to Positive Engagement

It’s budget season. Department heads are fighting for resources, council members are pushing pet projects, and community groups are demanding increased services – all while your finance director insists on maintaining healthy reserves. Some days, it feels less like city management and more like referee duty at a championship wrestling match.

Welcome to what I call the “municipal pressure cooker,” where competing interests collide and conflict seems inevitable. But what if conflict wasn’t the enemy? What if it was actually your gateway to stronger relationships and better solutions?

Today, we’re exploring William Ury’s insightful approach to positive engagement in conflict, and how it can transform your effectiveness as a municipal leader.

The Three Pillars of Positive Engagement

1. Separate People from Problems
   • Instead of: “The police chief is being unreasonable about overtime.”
   • Try: “We have a challenge with balancing public safety coverage and budget constraints.”

This shift does two crucial things:

• Prevents defensive reactions that derail productive discussion
• Opens the door to collaborative problem-solving

2. Focus on Interests, Not Positions
   • Instead of: “We can’t approve another community event – our staff is stretched too thin.”
   • Try: “Let’s explore how we can support community vibrancy while maintaining staff well-being.”

Key difference:

• Positions lock people into opposing corners
• Interests reveal shared goals and open new possibilities

3. Frame ‘No’ as a Path to Better ‘Yes’
   • Instead of: “We can’t fund your department’s request this year.”
   • Try: “Let’s use this constraint to identify our highest-impact priorities and get creative about resource allocation.”

This approach:

• Maintains forward momentum
• Keeps stakeholders engaged in solution-finding

Real-World Application: The ENGAGE Method

Here’s a practical framework for putting these principles into action:

Explore perspectives with curiosity

• “Help me understand what makes this project a priority for you.”

Note shared goals

• “We both want to enhance the quality of life for our residents.”

Gather facts objectively

• “Let’s look at the data on usage rates and maintenance costs.”

Align on criteria

• “What metrics should we use to evaluate success?”

Generate options together

• “What alternative approaches could achieve similar outcomes?”

Establish next steps

• “Let’s outline specific actions and timelines.”

This Works Because:

1. It keeps conversations focused on solutions rather than blame
2. It demonstrates respect for all stakeholders’ perspectives
3. It transforms potential confrontations into opportunities for collaboration

Remember: Positive engagement doesn’t mean avoiding difficult conversations. It means handling them in a way that strengthens relationships rather than straining them.

Key Takeaways & Action Steps:

• Start viewing conflicts as opportunities for strengthening relationships
• Practice reframing positions into interests in your next challenging conversation
• Use the ENGAGE method in your next departmental meeting
• Remember that how you handle conflict shapes your leadership reputation

Share your conflict resolution success stories on my LinkedIn page! What challenging situation have you transformed through positive engagement?

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Transform Your Conflict Management Skills in 2025

Managing competing interests while maintaining productive relationships is a cornerstone of effective municipal leadership. The Municipal Leadership Development Circle (MLDC), launching January 2025, offers city managers advanced training in positive engagement and conflict resolution. Join a community of municipal leaders focused on mastering these crucial skills, with access to real-time problem-solving support, peer expertise, and proven strategies for turning conflicts into opportunities.

Learn More & Save Your Seat

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Seth Winterhalter is President of HaltingWinter Municipal Solutions, dedicated to making stronger cities through stronger leaders. Through executive coaching, consulting, and the Municipal Leadership Development Circle (MLDC), HaltingWinter helps city managers and municipal leaders transform their leadership impact and their organizational culture.